Fear in the Handbag.

"...Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Nelson Mandela

I recently came accross this quote by Nelson Mandela. It intrigued me so I spent a few hours researching him in depth. The quote above resonated with me at many different levels and I believe it holds a lot of power for those who have endured abuse. Something happens when others treat you poorly....and that is you let them treat you poorly. Why?

I believe it is because we become afraid to let our light shine. I know that I am more afraid of success than I am of failure. Failure is an easy place to reisde, and an easy place to remain a victim. If I continue to fail, then I continue to be a victim. It is the comfortable shoe and the expected path.

When I finally began to read about domesticl abuse and the affects that it has on a person, I could relate. I was able to say "Yup, that is me. That is how I feel. Now I know why." Identifying why I behaved as I had helped me begin to heal. But that is only the first step.

The next piece is harder for me and where my true hurdles present themselves.. It doesn't matter what happened to me in the past, or who is at fault. That was then, and this is now.The the fact is I cannot continue to behave the same way. I cannot let others treat me with anything other than respect and kindness. It is my responsibility to not place myself at the feet of someone who does not treat me as I deserve to be treated.

I carry fear with me in my handbag everywhere I go. It is my constant companion and my security blanket.

I need to change handbags.

It is my responsibility to dare to let my light shine, and to challenge myself to achieve greater goals. It is my responsiblity to fufil those goals and no one elses. It is my responsiblity to look in the mirror each morning and say to myself.." Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? "

So, thank you Nelson Mandela. I am going to place the above quote on my mirror in the bathroom and read it every morning until the day I am done carrying fear around with me as my handbag. It is a nice handbag that I am used to and it is going to be hard to let it go, but I will let go a little every day until one day it just vanishes. ( Hopefully all my credit cards do not vanish as well).

#domesticabuse #victims #cyberbully #healing #empowerment #strength #stories #giftsofothers