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Digital domestic abuse is domestic abuse. There are many long term side affects, many challenges, and many days of both good and bad in equal measure. The more support victims have from others who share like stories the stonger they become. Digital abuse is emotional abuse and posseses a potent sting. It is so hard for victims to verbalize what is happening to them and when they do they are often misunderstood.
There is a tool that is used in mental heath called the power and control wheel. It is a way to assess the extent of abuse they have suffered. Check the similiarities between these two wheels.
.“Another reason abusers don’t want to give up the ‘power’ is that they don’t want to give up the power.”
― Sara Niles, Torn From the Inside Out
Isolation...
With the ability to change or maniputlate texts or emails, friends quickly disappear. Victim withdraws and pulls away.
Using privilege.
Can use Job and standing in the community to make himself look innocent. The target is often blamed for the problems experiencing. The abuser is often highly reguarded in community.
Emotional..
With very little support victims become emotional and withdrawn. Abuser uses this to his advantage, calling victims unstable.
Using Threats..
through digital devices. Target knows who it is but cannot prove it, Feels panic. Job can be at risk and finincail stability
Using Children...
This is by far the worst form of abuse. Children lose parents through this behavior, sometimes forever.
The ability to alter communications with Children gives the target parent very little hope of maintaining positive realtionship.
Economic..
Stalks bank accounts, moves,steals, or holds monies. Makes target look irresponsible. Can ruin credit, change spending habits of the target.
Minimizing , blaming..
The abuser can deny all allegations and blame victim of unstability, or psychosis. lack of support in community adds to abusers power.
Intimidation..
By knowing where target will be every minute, stalker intimidates victim simply by knowing location. Fearful of leaving home, using phones, using computers.
Domestic violence
power and control wheel.
“What are you going to do? Are you going to live in the dark, locked in here, Afraid to look out, answer the door? leave Yes, he's out there, and he's clearly not going to leave you alone until one of three things happens: he hurts you and gets arrested, or he makes a mistake and gets arrested, or you stop him.”
― Rachel Caine, Fall of Night
Power and Control...It is backbone of domestic abuse. When the controling partner feels he/she is losing control is when abuse takes place. The weapons vary, but the feelings instilled in the victim are the same. No abuse is tolerable, and no one should ever feel fear in their own home.
“There are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function. They are like toys on wheels of manipulation and control. If you remove one of the wheels, they'll never be able to feel secure, be whole.”
― C. JoyBell C.
it begins with the need for control
Domestic Violence Power and Control Wheel
Digital Abuse Power and Control Wheel
Song of the Day
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